by Garrison Frost

I don't surf. There it is. I've said it.

There's more. I am a lifelong resident of the South Bay, and while I have surfed more than a few times, I just cannot continue to make the claim any longer that there is any real connection to me and the South Bay's defining activity.

A few years ago while reading one of those oh-so-witty observation pieces about Los Angeles, I came upon the following bit of conventional wisdom: "Everybody in L.A. is either in the business or trying to get into the business." The business to which the author was referring, in case you didn't know, was show business: TV and the movies.

The first thing that struck me about this statement was that it obviously wasn't written by anyone who has spent any time in Los Angeles. And then I began to ponder that being in the movie business is still something that impresses people – mostly those who do not live in L.A. but a surprising number of people who do live here as well. To these people, the movie business is the height of cool, and when they hear that someone has "dabbled in the business," that adds to their respect of that person.

But there is a bit of iconic Los Angeles culture that, while not quite as universally recognized, easily carries the more legitimacy. When someone is connected to Hollywood, there is always a risk of coming off as affected, even cheesy. But when you are labeled a surfer, you can really do no wrong. Sure, there's always the risk of coming off as flaky or detached from reality. But even that's cool. A fried out surfer beats a wannabe Hollywood loser any day. But normally that's not the way it plays out. You can take any person of any profession and add that he or she occasionally surfs, and that person instantly becomes more interesting. An accountant is one thing, but an accountant who surfs is altogether different. Otis Chandler was something of a legend to the staffers at the Los Angeles Times for a lot of reasons, not the least of which was the fact that he was an avid surfer.

And in the South Bay, we're supposed have the surfing thing cornered. Everyone here is supposed to surf. Indeed, I learned long ago that I don't even have to surf, or really even know anything about surfing, to give people the impression that I actually am a surfer. And the fact that I dabbled a bit with surfing over the years – certainly not amounting to more than a couple dozen actual surf events, and none in the last 15 years – has been more than enough to ensure that I know enough of the concept and the lingo to lead people to the wrong conclusion. Sure, if you live in the Midwest and you drop casual statements about getting up at dawn, checking out an offshore wind or the number of new riptides, people won't know what to think. If you live in the South Bay and say those things, people will just assume the obvious. And I was more than happy to oblige those misconceptions.

Until recently.

Now I just have to be honest. I don't surf. And I'll bet that there lots of people like me who are living the same lie that I have abandoned. I realized that I can be just as much a product of the South Bay without putting on a wetsuit and carrying a seven-foot piece of fiberglass and foam into the water. Others can realize it too, and be proud.

As for the people who consider themselves so South Bay, but who have never been to the beach at all, well, I can't offer those people any advice whatsoever.

(May 13, 2005)

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