March 25th, 2013

Lazlo was a bad terrorist. Not “bad” in the sense of being perfectly evil, though he did aspire to that. No, he was bad in the sense that he was simply terrible at his craft. He never managed to accumulate followers like so many of his peers, his suicide bombers always got cold feet, and when they didn’t, the explosive devices inevitably failed to go off. One time, he threw a pipe bomb under a police car, only to have it fall down an open manhole, where it promptly fizzled in the human waste below. Another time, two of his agents managed to explode a bomb at a frozen yogurt shop in a popular square in the capital of a well-known Middle Eastern city. Only they blew the place up at 2:30 in the morning when no one was around. The police called it a gas explosion and the owner – who was thinking about closing the place anyway – got a healthy settlement from his insurance company.

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