Have a safe Fourth of July? What kind of thing is that to say, wondered Gordon. Just what did they think he was going to do? And why did everyone suddenly become so concerned about his safety in the first week of July every year? Ah, but this kind of thing was epidemic. No one ever seemed to wish him a great Fourth of July, or a fun Fourth of July. No, there was nothing but this panic that he might somehow hurt himself. As if he wasn’t a reasonable adult. Perhaps, Gordon mused, they should just cancel the holiday altogether. If it is so patently unsafe to celebrate it, maybe we should just glide on through to Memorial Day. And didn’t he have higher ambitions for the national holiday than mere survival? What kind of holiday was this if the best he could hope to do was emerge unharmed?