2031.
May 12th, 2010And it was right then, while standing in the CVS greeting card aisle searching for a mildly funny but not sexual birthday card for a colleague he could not stand, that Seymour hit upon the idea that would change his life, and the world: greeting cards that instead of expressing friendship or love, expressed hatred, anger, revulsion and distaste. He started small, with a line of cards with flowers on the front and messages that simply read “Actually, I don’t care that it’s your birthday” and “You’re frankly not that special to me.” These he sold out of his car at swap meets to adoring crowds of people who could not buy enough. Soon, he was selling “Fuck you on your anniversary” cards to some of the edgier card shops downtown. Just a year later, he was moving millions of pieces in a variety of themes. Insults were popular, such as “You’re a jerk” and “I hope you’re sick a few more days,” but so too were the honest ones with simple messages, such as “You’re actually not that funny” and “When I get on the phone with you all I can think about is ending the call as quickly as possible.” Now, 13 years later, Seymour’s simple idea has become an empire, fostering an entire new medium of insult around the world. It was recently calculated that nearly 20 percent of all the nasty things said to anyone last year was conveyed either in one of his cards or through one of his numerous online applications.